Please don't laugh at this...Take the handsome men off the pedestal and see them as everyone else.
Remember a man FINDS so he has to win your heart...from today, start internalizing your own value to truly embrace the buyer mentality...High value people have standards for themselves right?
They know who they are and what they want... They don’t just accept anyone – even if he is handsome, powerful, or rich. When they meet someone new, their attitude is, “Who is this man? Do I want him in my life? Why or why not?” But if you are so focused on selling yourself and convincing men of your value or to marry you, you are switching positions. You won’t be listening well. U will constantly be in your head trying to say the right thing... performing rather than trying to get to know these men very well. It’s an insecure, self-centered mindset...Today change your thinking from proving yourself to seeing if someone meets your qualifications...to be part of your life. Slow down and evaluate him if he is what you are looking for.Ladies... Develop a mindset of choice by screening men and recognizing your value.You are a Precious Pearl...
REMEMBER: Physical beauty does not mean you have to be with that man. There’s this tiny little thing called compatibility.
Someone recently said this to me: (jokingly I think...wink*) "Kay, I have prayed and prayed for a husband, but all the men are taken" I said, the ones that are taken are not yours. If you're expecting your Adam, the stop confessing lack of men. Prepare for your husband...prepare for your wedding
then keep praying...and before you know it, you will be thanking God for your husband. Sometimes we have to stop talking and … LISTEN to God. Listen to the Voice of the Spirit...by Meditating on the Word of God (and I am not talking about the New Age meditation,yoga and all the other foolishness).I mean Meditate on the Word and listen to the Voice of the Spirit.
So that U can walk in the spirit, and not in the flesh...Gal 5:16-17 says: O LORD, how long shall I cry, and you will not hear! (Hab 1:2)But after he complained bitterly for a while, look at what he said next:"I will stand on my watch, and set me on the tower, and will watch to see what he will say to me, and what I shall answer when I am reproved." Hab. 2:1 Did you read that? See, the LORD did answer him ... in a vision. But today, the vision of many people has been blocked by the enemy. They do not see in the spirit. They do not hear in the spirit.
I am more into the singles ministry, but I pray that God can use me wake up the slumbering
Christians so they can arise and take their rightful place in Jesus Christ. Listen to me: The Holy Spirit wants to reveal to you secrets that will move your life forward and stop dating the wrong men, but you must learn to labor in PRAYER! Because...when the Holy Spirit takes charge of your spirit, and begins to show you things in the spiritual realm.
Ok back to where we left off, no one likes being sold to. Asking a man to marry you is trying to sell yourself to him. When I worked in sales , I cold called people to pitch them on doing business with us and nearly every person who picked up the phone was annoyed. Even when my offer was potentially useful, I struggled to get anyone to hear me out. I had way more people tell me “ not interested!” than “Oh yes, I’m so happy you called!”
Now listen to me carefully: It’s because people are turned off by “salesmen”. They envision guys with ill-fitting suits trying to convince them to buy something they don’t want. So where dating is concerned, I tell my coaching clients: “Be the buyer, not the seller.” This means approaching the dating world with the mindset that YOU are choosing a compatible person for YOU. You should not be acting like a desperate salesman trying to prove that you’re good enough.
Being the “seller” means you value the approval of others over your own opinion of yourself. You worry about their judgment and you work hard to impress them. You’re afraid of losing any opportunity (scarcity) rather than focusing on finding ones that you find fulfilling (abundance).
This is an unconfident, needy mindset. As I’ve written before, neediness is the biggest turn-off for men or women.
But implementing the “buyer” mindset means raising your self-esteem. I know that’s not easy to do overnight.(But you can enroll in my confidence class) What you need to do is change your behavior and develop new habits that breed a high-value mindset. So I created a few exercises that will help you cultivate a confident mentality of choice and abundance.
Note: If you need help with dating, relationship or marriage you can contact me directly or read my books on Amazon just google “Kay Rose Nachilima” and you will be on your way to a happy new you…no joke☺
Again, physical beauty does not mean you have to be with that person. There’s this tiny little thing called compatibility. You need to be okay with some men or women not being attracted to you. Being considered “just a friend” is not a personal attack on you. It doesn’t mean you “lost”. And it doesn’t make you less of a person. Stop needing to prove yourself to every handsome man or beautiful woman. Be happy with some connections not being romantic.
Men: When you ask for for a woman’s number, express it under friendly intentions, “You seem like a great friend to have, we should hang out some time.” If a woman responds to a number request like, “I’m sorry but I have a boyfriend.” you reply with, “That’s okay, I’m just looking to make friends. Nothing more, promise.” The key to this is that you have to mean it. You have to legitimately be her friend and nothing more. No ulterior motives allowed. Become genuinely interested in discovering who people are. Critically evaluate if they match what you’re looking for. Develop a mindset of choice by screening people and thus recognizing your value.
Exercise: Write down a minimum of 5-10 qualities you find attractive in someone and 5-10 qualities you consider turn-offs. For example, you might write…
Like – Ambition, respect, strong family ties, open-minded, socially liberal, traveler, can have intellectual discussion
Dislike – Cynicism, negativity, dishonesty, lack of career goals, no political or world interests, can only hold thin conversation
Then, I want you to approach the dating world by asking questions that filter for those qualities
From the start of conversation, I want you to put men on the spot and make them prove themselves to you. Challenge them.
After they answer a question, I want you to follow up with another, and repeat. Even go overboard on the questions.
Within 5-10 minutes, you must honestly decide whether or not you should continue speaking with them based on their answers. If they don’t meet your standards, move on to someone else. The idea is to break the “I need everyone’s approval” mentality. You should want quality people, not just need anyone.
For comments/Match Making/Books/Classes : kayrose.academy@gmail.com
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