You have an amazing relationship with a guy who adores you. Things are on the right track. Then out of the blue you get hit with it – I need some space! He tells you he’s unhappy, and suddenly he wants out. And you are like…really? Seriously? I thought we were getting married…what in the world happened?
What happened to the love we shared?
The truth is…too many men make the mistake of running away from what could be perfectly good relationships with amazing women. And they do it for reasons that could have been avoided. This doesn’t have to happen to you. Here are a few reasons why men leave great women, and what to do about them:
Reason #1: “Emotional Overwhelm”
A relationship with a man can bring up a lot of intense emotional issues inside. The question is…do you let all these emotions build up inside you to where they finally explode in a semi-destructive way? And do you find that your men either don’t have the emotional skills to handle these situations with you, or they become more distant when you’re at your most intense? If so…then you likely are with a man who doesn’t have much of an emotional “center” to keep him calm and present with you even when emotions run hot.
This is a man’s fault. A mature man needs to be a source of support and masculine stability in your relationship. Yet, at times, even a good man can become overwhelmed verbally, and go into what I call “emotional overwhelm.” This is where a man can’t handle the emotions coming at him and feels so anxious inside that he ends up withdrawing to get away. Why is this important?
If you can learn to talk about “loaded” topics without having your man become emotionally overwhelmed, your relationship will instantly change for the better. But if you keep pushing each other past a safe emotional place, don’t wonder why he acts distant.
Reason #2: He Feels Like You’re Trying To Fix Him
I know, us women are good at trying to “fix” men. Please don’t do it. Though I know that if you aren’t getting what you want from a relationship, it’s common to become frustrated and eventually stop communicating in a clear and loving way. This is where things like demands, pleading, and even begging for what “should be” creep in and get in the way. I get it… when a woman doesn’t feel heard or appreciated in her relationship, changing our tone seems like the only way to get a man’s attention.
Unfortunately, this is when men mistake your intentions and feel criticized or blamed. If a man feels like you’re judging his faults or shortcomings, he’ll never open up and listen. Instead, he’ll shut down, stop “hearing” you, and pull back even more.
Reason #3: He Fears Losing His Freedom
Have you thought about why a man commits himself to one woman, and how your guy FEELS in your relationship lately? If you’re having more negative interactions than positive ones, a man will question what you have. If it goes on for too long, eventually he’ll start thinking about a way out.
On the other hand…if your relationship is healthy, fun, emotionally intimate and positive in the way you treat each other, a man won’t think twice about continuing to devote his heart and life to you. You’ll be that rare special woman he fell in love with in the first place, and who he craves being with. If you set a positive emotional tone in the relationship, a man will be more mindful of what he’s gaining with you, rather than any of the things other men fear losing in their freedoms. Remember, even if a butterfly loves the beauty of a flower, if you pin it down with a pin because it’s in love it will die.
WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT
When you focus on the idea that men might leave good women for no apparent reason, it can make relationships seem hopeless. Don’t let this fear get inside your head. If you know how to communicate with your man in a way that demonstrates the happy, fulfilled and loving woman you are inside… and you find ways to continually praise and appreciate each other rather than criticize or tear each other down…you’ll be amazed at how he’ll show you his love and appreciation in return.
Too many relationships lose the simple appreciation which brought them together in the first place. You deserve a fulfilling, long-lasting relationship with a man who’s ready and willing to do his part in creating an incredible life together. If you are interested in my what’s app classes, feel free to reach out!
Now ladies, listen to me: He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end."---Ecclesiastes 3:11
You know what this shows me? BEAUTIFUL IS A PROCESS and it comes into full fruition in its time. And here's the other point: When it comes to how we see ourselves, our lives, the world and yes, God's customized "love story" we don't have to "make it happen". GOD MAKES IT HAPPEN. All we have to do is acknowledge him as being our Creator and then follow his instructions as he gives them (Proverbs 3:5-6) all the while having the total and complete faith (Hebrews 11) that He will make things be of great pleasure and satisfaction for us. This is why Psalm 16:11 says "You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore" and Psalm 145:16 also tells us "You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing."
And doesn't that take a load off? Far too often we are trying to do what's not our job and ignoring what actually is: Manifestation is God's job. Obedience is ours. When we obey the Creator of what's beautiful, he manifests beautiful things in our lives; things that will delight our senses, things that are excellent, things that are wonderful...things that are very pleasing and satisfying… So many women try to "make up" a beautiful relationship rather than allow time to cause it to become beautiful.
Come rain or shine (Matthew 5:45), in God's time, know that he's out to make you and everything around you...
Lastly, if you are feeling rejected is about you deciding that this person has the power to determine your worth or giving away power to get them to love you or because you don’t want to basically own your own and step up, they’re still not rejecting you. You’re giving this person the power and it is you who has decided that the meaning of whatever they’ve been and done is a negative indicator of your worth, but self-worth like self-esteem has the word ‘self’ in it for a reason – because it comes from you so you actually have a choice about how you choose to value you and you don’t have to give people power that they don’t have a right to. Have you noticed that you can’t go around telling people what their worth is? And that’s not because of your own worth; it’s because it’s not your place and you don’t have that power and neither does this person who you’ve granted this level of authority to…give yourself a gift of compassion.
For any comments, dating questions or interested in my match making services please an email to kayrose.academy@gmail.com
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