Is your relationship God ordained? I hope it is…because if your relationship is NOT God approved, you are signing up for unnecessary heartache and some good years of drama and turmoil. I can personally testify to this. I was married to a non-believer and experienced years of tears and drama, which ended in divorce. But I am not saying all men of God are perfect…test the spirits. Don’t be fooled by the title “ man of God” show is better than tell, don’t just listen to what he tells you, watch if his actions match up with his words. Are you listening? I hope so.
By the way, who in the world would dare enter into a relationship that isn’t approved by God? I know many people do… And many stumble and regret not utilizing Godly insight and wisdom when picking their mates. Who you court and eventually marry is the most important decision in your life, second only to your decision to follow Jesus Christ. This shouldn’t be left to chance or worldly wisdom such as choosing based on physical attraction and emotional connection. “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)
Physical and emotional attraction is definitely great, but it’s not priority when it comes to picking “The One you will spend the rest of your life with” who God has chosen for you. Many Christian marriages to fail in the end, because they are not based on biblical principles…people marry because someone is light in complexion or has a good job. I think that’s a joke*smile* Alright, let’s go over the signs you are in a good healthy Christian relationship.
You Are Equally Yoked-Christians
The operative word here is Equally yoked. By this I mean you are both Christians for starters and are both in a similar place in your walk with Jesus. If one of you walks closely with Him and the other barely knows Him, you are not Equally Yoked. You must have a strong Spiritual connection with one another. You must view and worship God in a similar fashion. You can talk openly about God and can spur each other on in your faith and walk with Christ. You should be able to pray together as a couple and pray for one another when you are apart. This prayer should come naturally and without hesitation. I cannot emphasize enough how critical this point is. It’s not enough that both of you believe in Jesus Christ. If you are not equally yoked spiritually, your relationship will unravel quickly...
If you are not Equally Yoked because one of you is not a Christian, your relationship is not ordained by God, because this is blatant disobedience to God’s Word. If you are not equally yoked because you don’t connect spiritually or one of you is more grown than the other, particularly the woman, you should prayerfully consider taking a break and seeing if time apart will bring the other person to a closer and deeper relationship with God. If not, then it is not a match. MOVE ON… Regeneration and transformation is evidence of a Spirit led life yielded to Him.
You Are Both Marriage-Minded
You both share similar goals about marriage; you are both ready for it. The time frame should be within one to two years at the most. If neither of you are ready for marriage, why are you dating? Recreational Dating is not advisable for Born Again Bible Believing Christians; it only leads to sin, which dishonors God, then God doesn’t bless the union. This ends up causing long term issues in the marriage by blurring the lines between lust and love.
Once lust and the physical aspect has already been introduced in the relationship, the waters are muddied and both parties cannot see or think clearly. This is also a warning sign that the relationship is not God ordained.
You Have Complete Peace
When your relationship is God ordained, it will be simple, uncomplicated, and should run smoothly. It won’t be perfect, but will seem effortless. Your schedules don’t collide. You both have time to go to church, serve God, and enjoy time together. Your lives converge easily without too much effort. Both your friends and families approve. There is no drama, fighting, or constant bickering. Peace will permeate your spirit when God ordains your relationship. When you think about that person, you smile and thank God for bringing you a perfect and wonderful gift. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father…” (James 1:17)
You Enjoy Being with That Person
Take away the iPhone, Facebook, Cable TV, games, and all media. If you were stranded on a deserted island with this person with only a bible, would you have the adventure of a lifetime or does getting a root canal seem more appealing? This is the true test of compatibility. When you can sit with this person without distractions and physical intimacy and can laugh, communicate, connect, and enjoy yourself, you are on the right track, because you have the foundation of a Godly Friendship in place.
The thought of this person gets you excited spiritually and emotionally. Out of all the people you know, this person is the first person you want to share your victories and trials with. Their presence and their input is what you look forward to at the end of your day. You see Jesus in their countenance and demeanor.
Communication, Communication, Communication!
When it comes to Real Estate it’s Location, Location, Location! But in a relationship, it’s Communication to the third power! You must be able to speak freely both ways. The best communicators are active listeners. They are also great at articulating their thoughts and feelings through speaking and writing. It’s best to find someone who can communicate at your level and listens intently to your every word. After all, we have two ears and one mouth. The bible tells us it’s better to listen before speaking.
Majority Approves
Most if not all your friends and family must approve of your mate. These are people who know you, love you, and want what’s best for you. Sometimes we can get emotionally and physically caught up in someone and not see the “Big Picture.” This is where our friends and family come in. Their opinions and insights count. Obviously, be cautious of those who are not basing their opinions on Biblical virtues. But otherwise, trust them! If a majority of them disapprove of your choice, God is trying to tell you something. Don’t ignore their opinions. They are God’s messengers for your protection. Your relationship will not thrive in a bubble or a vacuum. God did not intend that for any marriage. If anything, your relationship is meant to be an illustration to the world of God’s goodness, faithfulness, and love.
God Gives You a Supernatural Love for This Person
When God ordains a relationship, He gives you Supernatural examples to confirm His approval of your union. It won’t take years or months. Sometimes it’s a matter of hours or weeks to know you are in the presence of “The One.” Now granted, if you met in high school, then it will take years, but when you are at an appropriate age, it doesn’t take long to figure it out if God is in the center of your relationship. A man will be overcome with the desire to see the woman more often, while the woman won’t have time to fret over his intentions or feelings.
Ladies, if you are sitting around fretting over some guy who isn’t calling you or wanting to spend more time with you, give it to God. You could be wasting your precious time and energy on the wrong guy. Instead of being fixated on Mr. Wrong, focus on what you should be doing, which is serving God.
Lastly and most importantly, Read Ephesians 5:22-33. I believe this is the blueprint of God's construct of marriage. Most people don't follow this and wonder why their marriage is suffering or falling apart. If both people love each other and want the marriage to thrive, then they must submit to God and follow His instructions.
Have any questions or comments? Send them to kayrose.academy@gmail.com
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