How to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

As always, I love my worship songs playing in the background while I am writing “Spirit of the living God” playing right now. And by the way, it’s by Vertical church band…Why do I do this while writing? I want these articles to be life changing, not just mare articles. So right now, if your heart is broken, I am singing over you. It is well. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)

OK...

I am a signs and wonders girl (Daniel 4:2-3) and I have seen too many divorces over the past few years so if you have ever been through a bad divorce or break-up. It’s time to get FREE. I mean free and FREE indeed. It’s time to mend your broken pieces. It’s time to resolve the past! Fully. A new relationship never brings healing. God is the one that brings healing. Get it? I hope so.

I am also a firm believer that some people are not in new relationships because they are still, emotionally, in their old one. Like Lot's wife (Genesis 19:26), they are "paralyzed" because there is something within their past that...needs to be addressed. Personally, I think that too many marriages are jacked up, even this moment, because most couples didn't...heal from their ex’s, forgiving and making peace with their past. I could be speaking to you right now. Most marriages or relationships are a result of either picking a partner out of brokenness or bitterness (which is like trying to make a wise decision when you are drunk), it just never works.

And as for real talk, if past relationships consisted of sexual compromise and disobedience (I Corinthians 6:16-20), I think more praying and fasting effort needs to be put into the process so that you can experience real healing. No matter how much the world lies about it… there's no such thing as "casual sex" I will say this again "Flee sexual immorality (I Corinthians 6:18)

I honestly think that's a big part of what my upcoming book is all about book was all about; “You are a Precious Pearl “it’s about time you discovered who you are and how God see’s you. You can also read another book by me “Traits of a Radiant Woman” Ladies it’s time to let your light shine.  

Virgins reading this, please stay not only “unpenetrated"...STAY PURE. Stay loyal to God.

Ok singles…time for big folks, the married couples. How in the world can you divorce proof your marriage? Ok, first of all, let me say this: God did not ordain divorce…marriage is a convent and covenants are not made to be broken. Fine, Moses permitted it. But God did not permit it. The WORD doesn’t say divorce is OK. So if you are married…stay married and embrace FORGIVENESS. No man is perfect there is ONLY one man who is perfect…and we all know him, Jesus.

Keeping your marriage alive can be easier said than done. No matter how much you love each other, every marriage requires a considerable amount of work from both parties. With divorce being on an all-time high, couples need all the help they can get. Discover our tips for investing in a long lasting marriage, and enjoy your happily ever after!

Be Intimate

Being intimate is one of the cornerstones of a marriage, no matter how old you get.

Intimacy can be quite easy in the beginning of a relationship, because everything feels quite new and exciting. However, many couples get into a routine after a while, making it seem a lot less interesting. In order to keep your intimacy alive, it is crucial to make your partner feel desirable. This does not only apply to women, but also to men, because they need the occasional compliment too.

Do not be afraid to tell your spouse they are looking good regularly and set aside time just for the two of you to be alone.

Respect Alone Time

When you are married to someone, you usually spend a lot of time together. What many people tend to forget is that each person needs some time to be themselves. Don’t lose your identity in the marriage, as this can actually cause your marriage to fail.

Do not be afraid of taking some time for yourself or let your partner have some time for him or herself every once in a while, it will only make your marriage stronger. Then you can reunite with experience to share.

Include your spouse in day to day routines

Some people are married for years and even though they see each other every day, they live more “next” to each other than “with” each other. What this means is that people live their own separate lives in their marriage and this can cause a serious rift between couples. Although it is healthy thing to have a bit of personal time, as we explained above, you will also need to include your spouse in your everyday life. Tell them about your day and ask for their advice on things that you need help with. Your partner will feel more appreciated and valued because you asked him or her for their input and view.

Don’t Cheat

This is a bit of a no brainer, but cheating will be the end of every marriage. It is true though, some people have dealt with a cheating spouse and are still married. However, trust will often be gone forever and you will never feel as comfortable again. Marriage is largely based on trust, and this trust cannot remain if one of the partners cheats. It makes the other person feel worthless and makes them wonder whether they are good enough. In short, cheating is the biggest no-no for every marriage, and this can be on an emotional or physical level. If you husband or wife has ever cheated on you, it’s time to move on! My eGuides “Overcoming Infidelity and getting unstuck” is a step by step eGuide that will help you to find healing after the hurt. There is still hope as well as happiness after infidelity.

Have an intentional relationship

The statement above might seem a little bit strange to you, but it is actually quite simple. When people get married, they often stop trying to impress their partner. Some married couples never go out on a date anymore and fall into this terribly boring routine. One important thing to remember is that your partner stays with you out of his or her own free will. Even though it may be difficult, they could leave if they think you are not contributing your half.

Avoid a boring and routine marriage by doing something unexpected and new. Do not do it too often though, because your partner will start to expect you to wait on them hand and foot, and this is not healthy either. Surprise your partner with a nice dinner, flowers or even the occasional compliment. It does not take a lot to tell your partner they look nice or handsome, and it does not have to cost you any money either!

Spend time together

The culprit of many broken marriages is a mismanagement of time. We live in a busy and energy absorbing society, so it is quite easy to forget about our partner. Spending time together is easier said than done, because our busy lifestyles ensure that we just have enough energy to cook our dinners when we get back from work.

MEND IT! DON’T END IT

If your marriage or relationship looks like it is in danger of breaking down, I would recommend you buy one of my “Mend it, Don’t end it” eGuide. This eguide teaches you  step by step how you can restore your relationship. Most of you are stuck because you are trying to sort out your “issues” from a place of disconnectedness, and of course just go around in circles. My eGuides will shows you how to reconnect first (park the problem) build up some Trust and Respect as well as some skills and then review the situation. But in order to purchase this eGuide you must commit to saving your marriage by signing the KRA 90 day agreement no exceptions this program is only for serious couples committed to creating lasting love.

Kay Rose, owner of Kay Rose Academy is a modern international relationship expert. If you want to prepare for marriage in advance … Don't know how to get started with changing your marriage…Can't talk to your spouse without arguing…if you and your spouse can't work together as a team! Are you letting other people come between your marriage!? If you or your spouse can't let go of past hurt! If you or your spouse have an inability to forgive!? If you have a lack of intimacy! Want to find your soul mate without losing your soul then Kay Rose Academy is for you.kayrose.academy@gmail.com

The Best Ways To Spoil A Relationship: How NOT To Act If You Want To Keep Your Partner!

I have encountered mercy. I cannot explain, I cannot understand…I am just so happy that I am embraced at the cross. Singing a new song...singing of His goodness. Singing of His wonderful love. Truth be told: The definition of love is right at the cross. That’s where true love was shown, true love was defined as He was scorned and crucified. He tore the veil, bridged the division and took us from darkness to light…And even now His arms are wild open waiting to embrace you and shower you with faithful love. So as you enter this new month my prayer for you is that, God will give you sing a NEW song too, not only in your love life, but in all areas of your life. Genesis 1:1-3 In the BEGINNING (Ask God to give you a new fresh start at the very beginning of this month) God CREATED (Ask Him to re-create you...bring your broken pieces to His Feet) the heavens and the earth. V2. Now the earth was formless and empty (Your love life may be formless and so empty, but God can shape it into something beautiful) V3. And God said, “Let there be LIGHT," and there was light. God’s first word produced Light and His creation was IMMEDIATE VICTORY!! The Light dispelled darkness instantly. And the very First Word of God still very active today, sharper than any double edged sword (Heb 4:12). As you start your new month of November, speak the Word and experience victory in your life. May God cause this month to be full of Light and laughter! May God shine over you and cause every form of darkness to disappear. If you are sick in the body, you can’t afford to remain silent… Declare Gen 2:7 over your life. V7. And breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. May God BREATH new Life in your body and give life to every part of your body. My prayer is that God will touch you and heal you. Soak in His Presence and experience the power that makes all things new-Behold new things have come 2 Cor 5:17 Welcome to November! Your month of new things…

So what are the Best Ways to Spoil a Relationship? Well, stay put, you are about to find out and you are also about to find out “How NOT To Act If You Want To Keep Your Partner” Loneliness is not always easy to deal with,   but what is really harder is to find the right partner, someone with whom we can enjoy life and share all it all.  It is very common that once we find someone, we get anxious and want things to happen fast, so as “not to lose time”, when in fact, what we are doing is losing that soul-mate we thought we had found. Here are some of the best ways to spoil and destroy a relationship right from the very beginning, so if you want to keep that one you just found, take care not to do the following:

1. Assume that the person you just met is the soul mate of your life just from the very beginning. Seek for “destiny signs” that indicate you are meant to be together forever.
2. Forget about your life, you friends and your own development and care. If you have found your perfect partner, why would you need something else out of the relationship?
3. Reveal it all and test your partner with your worst behaviors. Show it all about you, even your worst defects fully from the beginning; if he/she is really your twin soul, he/she will still love you no matter what.
4. Have sex immediately, right on the first date. If you were created to be together, why should you delay the fun?
5. Ignore any thing that does not match regarding your lifestyles, values and beliefs. True love is stronger than those insignificances!
6. Do not wait to make him/her part of your own problems: work frustrations, family problems, emotional crisis are good ways find out if you both are able to support and accompany each other unconditionally and under any circumstances, you will probably have to face some hard moments ever in life, so make sure your partner will give you just what you need.
7. Spend all possible time together. When love is real, you should not miss a minute, why being separated if you can be together 24/7? Who needs that?
8. Ignore any attitude that may cross the limits or that may hurt your feelings. Love is about accepting the other and forgiving after all.
9. Give all your attention to your partner at all moments and expect the same attention from your partner. Nothing can be more important than each other when love is real.
10. Push the relationship to move forward, try to go deeper no matter the emotional moment your partner may be living, there is no need to go slowly and waste time when he/she is the perfect person for you. Life is short and you found your dreamed one, this is the best for both of you, he/she just may need to be encouraged!
11. Your ideal partner may have some defects and you accept them, but since you want your loved one to be as best as possible, become even better person than how he/she actually is, be clear about numbering and remembering your loved one his/her defects. You are just helping your love to meliorate for the benefit of the relationship and even for him/her, aren´t you? It´s being mature accepting our defects and working on them, no one better than you to reveal even those the other one hasn´t even realized yet! It is not criticizing and hurting self´-esteem; it is about being realistic and constructive.  
12. Call your partner during business hours and disturb at work every 5 minutes
13. Show up at his/her office to cause a scene because you suspect he/she is cheating on you.

This is all you need to do if you want your new relationship to fail, so if you want to keep it, make sure you do NOT do anything of the things above!

How to Find a Girlfriend 101

If you have ever found yourself wondering how to find a girlfriend, you are not alone (even if it might feel like it at times) I have been getting a lot of emails from guys asking me how they can “find a girlfriend” someone to share life with. Ok, let’s get started!

Determine what it is that you are actually looking for in a girlfriend first, then try to find someone who meets that criteria. This will help you to turn your search into a quest for something more meaningful.

Who Are You Looking For?

The first thing that you should do when thinking about how to find a girlfriend is to stop and think about the qualities that your ideal girlfriend should have. This should focus more on personality and tastes than physical attributes, as if you get too caught up on looks then you might end up with someone who’s not actually your ideal match. You obviously want to find someone that you’re attracted to, but keep in mind that…buy my complete e-guide “How to Find a Girl Friend” it includes:

How to start the search

What exactly are you looking for in your future wife?

Evaluate Yourself

How to Dress the part

How to be Cool calm and collected

How to get a girl to like you

How to establish a connection

Building on your relationship

How to become something more than just a text buddy

Questions to ask a girl

Finding out more about her

Telling clean jokes

What if questions

Text Etiquette

What to say via text

An ongoing conversation

How to attract women

Look at your wardrobe

How to know if a girl likes you

Is she happy to see you?

Is she going out of her way to see you?

How does the conversation flow?

Is there a connection?

Things to talk about with a girl and much more…

Kay Rose Owner of Kay Rose Academy teaches women/men how to effortlessly attract lasting love and have a secure relationship kayrose.academy@gmail.com

How to know she is using you…

How to Know She is Using You…

So you feel like you've finally met the woman of your dreams, the one you want to commit to, take to meet your mom and show off to your friends? She's beautiful, smart, funny and sophisticated but something's just not sitting right. Maybe you’re starting to get mixed messages that leave you feeling confused. One minute she's all lovey dovey one minute and giving you a cold-shoulder the next. Perhaps she's not showing the same level of interest in you that you are expressing in her... you feel like your main job these days is to spend tons of money on taking her to the nicest places in town, buying airtime, paying rent etc. Well, it could be possible that she is using you for her own personal gain.

But fear not fella's, as there are a number of telltale signs that should set the warning lights flashing…and if you are in that situation, then this article is for you and it may be time to reevaluate your situation. If you feel like you’re just an arm candy and you want some respect, then it’s time to tune into things and how to know she is using you may be easier than you might have realized! But!!!! Let me address the women on this very important subject. How to you help your man feel like ‘A MAN’? Ladies! Men have feelings too. They have emotions. Words and Actions do hurt. The only difference between men and women is that men will never voluntarily open up and share how they feel. The 21st century media and Hollywood have depicted an idea of a “macho” man; the epitome of all things masculine. He doesn’t break a sweat. He is cool, confident and smooth. They’ve made it look so good that we turn our men into helpless little girls if they ever get a little emotional.

A relationship is a place where both parties should feel safe and happy. When you nag him excessively or complain a lot, it is sure to take its toll on him at some point. Nobody wants to feel like a second option. As a wife or girlfriend, it is important to make sure that you give your partner the space he needs to be real and not the plastic icon of Brad Pitt that you have created in your mind. It is true, he may have limitations and shortcomings but it is your job to love him relentlessly and make him feel special.

Words have the power to break and strengthen. You must be careful about the words that come out of your mouth because some comments do sting. They will harbor this in their heart for a very long time. Compliment him every now and then. As much as they act like they don’t care, everyone looks to hear something nice about them every now and then. It always gives you a fuzzy feeling to know that someone is looking out for you.

Make him your ‘Go to’ guy whenever you need help. They want to be your emotional crutch, the provider and your rock. So, help him be the leader and reach his true potential. As the clichéd line goes, “Behind every successful man is a strong woman”. So, instead of getting caught up in your own agenda and life, look out for your man as well. Maybe you could occasionally surprise him at work, leave cute notes for him around the house, get him breakfast in bed sometimes and pamper him. He will never admit that he’s tired or needs help. Give him a foot rub, cook him a special dinner; make him feel like a King. Boost his confidence with words of encouragement and never tear him down. Let him know that, at the end of the day, He means more to you than anything else in the world. And all the ladies say? Alright enough of that…

SIGNS SHE IS USING YOU. Well ideally, the girl you’re dating won’t be honest enough to declare, “I’m just using you.” But no worries, let’s look at some telltale signs that can be indicative that you my friend are being used. Because if she is using you, it’s likely she’s not going to tell you (maybe her friends or your friends, but not you). You may have heard that women sometimes send mixed messages. But in a relationship you don’t need a Cracker Jack box decoder to decipher a person’s intentions because, over time, a person’s true colors will always emerge through their actions. It may hurt now but you can rise above the pain and find love again. You can get past this bit of shame in your dating life and ensure that it never happens again. It never feels good to be used for any reason, and here’s how to tell if she is in fact going to use you up and dispose of you like a Kleenex when all is said and done.

#1. Overly concerned with your salary or your parent's wealth and of course the big fear and the most common way of being used is for financial gain. For the chivalrous gentleman who naturally prefers to reach for the check, this can be a hard one to notice, but there will be subtle clues that let you know whether she's in it for you or for your wallet. Does she show a genuine interest in the day-to-days of your work or does she seem more interested in figuring out how successful you are and where you're positioned on the career ladder? Does she call or text when she doesn’t hear from you? Does she ever offer to pick up the check or does she conveniently seem to find herself in the bathroom when it’s time to drop some money? An interest in wallet is a big warning sign that she's got her eyes on your money. Truth be told: Some of you men if you add up all the money you spend on women who are not even your wives, you would have bought many houses by now. But unfortunately, all you can say is, “I used to be so and so, but now I have nothing to show for it” don’t let that be you. Wise up!

#2. She Hasn’t Introduced You To Friends of Family.  A girl that is truly into you is going to want to dress you up and show you off to friends and family like a new Christmas outfit. If she has put off introducing you to family or insisted you don’t come along when meeting friends, it a pretty good sign that she doesn’t see a future with you. Of course the modern day equivalent of this is when your girl is all over social media but she doesn’t insist on endless selfies with you or fill your timeline with tagged photos, status' and check-ins, in which case there may be something amiss.

There many other ways to know if a woman is using you. Simply enroll in the KRA dating 101 class and learn more about that. But the ultimate way to find out for sure whether or not you're being used for one thing in particular is to take away that perk and see if she hangs around. This doesn’t mean turning into a sting man or of course she will run a mile. Simply identify the area in which she may be using you, be it the money, or fancy events and tone it down or suggest alternatives and see how the relationship develops…hopefully she will stick around and help you to feel more important than just an ATM! I mean, come on guys, why would you want to be used? Hello! Ask yourself this question:  Is she really interested in me or what I can do for her? If it’s not you! Move on.

Looking for Love? Want to improve your marriage or relationship? New to Dating?

Kay Rose Owner of Kay Rose Academy and Founder of GDA/BSOG teaches women/men how to effortlessly attract the right partner and have a secure, close relationship or marriage they want. To learn more about the KRA programs or learn how you can connect with your partners heart at every stage of your relationship or marriage send an email to kayrose.academy@gmail.com and don't forget to check out my facebook page www.facebook.com/kabwerose

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Signs You Are in a Dead End Relationship

Before we get started with the signs of a dead end relationship… let me ask you this question: How can you stand out in a man’s mind? If you meet a guy today will it be your last or the beginning of a forever love relationship? Well, it depends “smile” it depends on the impression you make as an individual not as a type. Listen to me: This world is full of types...not individuals. Most men often date types, but no man falls in love with one. A man falls in love with only an individual who makes him feel special a unique woman. So my other question is, how do you prevent a guy from just seeing you as a type and not someone he can fall in love with? Well there are 8 steps, but I will share one with you, you can take a class to learn the rest...#1.Attract his imagination. First, unless the guy you are dating is in jail…almost every man sees many beautiful faces every single day...so how do you make that lasting impression? You have to know how to capture and attract his wondering mind and attention ENOUGH so that you can stand out from the crowd.  It’s time for you discover the real reasons to the question of why are you still single or not married...you may well be able to cure the condition...instead of just coming to terms with it. Ladies, owning the most fashionable and prettiest wardrobe in the world will mean nothing to you, if you do not know how to act in them. The way you wear your long hair, the way you shape your eye brows, the curves and all your other assets can be destroyed-almost immediately…if your actions do not add up to those of a real lady. A real beauty inside out must first ACT like one.

Alright now, let’s dig deep into the “Signs You Are In a Dead End Relationship” When emotions and time are involved it can be very difficult to move on, especially from a relationship that is going nowhere. We need to pay attention to the signs that show us that there may be no future for us in our current relationship.

His or her ex is still in the picture:

As we just stated, it can be hard to let go of relationships but when your partner keeps calling, arguing with, seeking advice from or bringing up their exes name, then it’s a problem. There could be children involved but there are ways to co-parent without letting the relationship that you had with your ex, come between you and your present partner. I dislike having to be the one to tell you but you might be the rebound. If your ex has been in a relationship with that person for years, and started dating you right after, maybe he or she has not had time to heal yet. They’re with you but their heart is with their ex. God has something better in store for you. You should be cherished as someone’s only, not sharing a spot with someone else. As hard as it might be you should leave and wait for the plans that God has in place for you.

He or she does not share the same principles and values as you:

It’s difficult to believe that people are in relationships where their needs aren’t being met. Please note that the word NEEDS was used and not wants. Some people feel like they NEED a child in their life and others don’t. But yet still those people are together. Isn’t obvious that one person will end up very unhappy, no matter if the outcome is to have a child or not have a child. In relationships there are things called non-negotiable; things that you should NEVER compromise on because you know that you need them in order to be happy. We’re not talking about superficial things like a size 20 waist or some 6 pack abs. We are talking about the things that you need to function properly in a relationship; respect, intimacy/PDA, communication, children, religion, family etc. You should not be with someone whose beliefs and needs you don’t agree with.

He or she is abusive, controlling and jealous:

The sad part is that some people don’t know what abuse is. They may feel like if they aren’t getting abused that they are not loved. If your partners gets physical with you, shouts at you, calls you names or puts you down that is abuse. If they prevent you from seeing your family, going out, hanging out with your friends or demand what you should wear, you are being controlled. If your partner gets upset if someone looks your way, says hi to you, smiles at you or tries to flirt with you (when their feelings aren’t being reciprocated) then they are extremely jealous. None of these signs are something that anyone should stand for. They have crossed the realm of plain old insecurity into what I can say is modern day slavery. Get out, don’t look back. Real love, as God explains it is patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

You give and sacrifice too much, too often:

Of course when we love someone we tend to want to give them the world, make them happy whenever and however we can, even if that means putting ourselves last. And that’s ok, if your partner does the same for you. If he or she isn’t then you are being used. This person is taking advantage of your caring heart and spirit to get whatever they want. Someone who truly loves you will tell you to stop it or step up and do the same for you. Worse yet if all your efforts aren’t being appreciated. God has set aside someone who will want to do the same thing for you. Don’t waste in on some guy or girl who doesn’t value you.

He or she has no respect for you or vice versa:

What do you mean by respect? It means that your partner takes the time to listen to you, they are considerate of your thoughts, feelings, wants and needs, they keep their word to you, they don’t lie to you, they don’t talk down to you, try to manipulate you and they don’t abuse you. Of course there are more facets that come with respecting your partner but you can pretty much get the gist of what I’m saying. If you find that your partner isn’t cutting it when it comes to those things, or you are cutting it yourself, then you should end the relationship before it becomes abusive, if it hasn’t already gone there.

As sad as it can be to come to the realization that your relationship needs to be over, it can be a blessing in disguise. It may open doors to the love that God has for you. You will end up loving yourself more and being loved better by a partner that wants the same things that you want. If things have been deteriorating for months now, just pull the bandage off.  As a daughter of the Most High God you are truly part of God's royal family (Galatians 3:26 and 4:6) YOU are God's princess. And as a daughter of the Most High God...you are beautifully made in His image. You are worthy of every GOOD thing and God's Grace (Ephesians 1:4-5) Don’t endure more suffering than you need to.

Looking for Love? Want to improve your marriage or relationship? New to Dating?

Kay Rose Owner of Kay Rose Academy and Founder of GDA/BSOG teaches women/men how to effortlessly attract the right partner and have a secure, close relationship or marriage they want. To learn more about the KRA programs or learn how you can connect with your partners heart at every stage of your relationship or marriage send an email to kayrose.academy@gmail.com 

The greatest lie being told every day is “I love you.”

A glance in her eyes, the way she moves, and oh the sound of her voice may cause you  to feel butterflies in the pit of your stomach…your heart may even beat faster, this kind of emotion actually feels great…it’s so rare. But you can quickly become so distracted to a point where you can’t think. So listen to me hun: No matter how a handsome or pretty unbeliever may awaken these great feelings in you. Don’t rush anything...be patient. I know this from experience. Therefore, I advise you to take no stock in butterflies “smile” You must understand the danger of being swept away by emotion, because you can be so blinded by emotion and even make stupid, stupid decisions. I am telling this because I don’t want you to become a casualty of emotion. Hold yourself firmly in check, keeping yourself on the safe ground where reason has veto power over emotion. Guys, pursue a godly girl by pursuing Jesus. Jesus has someone for you, and that person is hidden in His heart. Seek His heart, and you will discover the rich treasure He has prepared for you. Fail to seek His heart, and you will never find her. Nothing can happen without God. God can open my heart to you far better than you could ever contrive to do so yourself.

What we should ask ourselves is why we allow ourselves to get sucked into all of the emotions, the quickly-changing feelings? A lot of us can relate because most, if not all of us have had at least one relationship that could beat the super hero Flash in a race. We may have gotten engaged or married very quickly, only to discover, a few years down the line what a terrible mistake we’ve made. And yes there are those who defy this rule, but in most cases, these ‘speed of light’ type of relationships ends up with one or more broken hearts. What we must do is to come to the realization that there are people who look for love for the wrong reasons; maybe they don’t want to be alone, they just want to be married for the sake of being married, or they just want to move on from an ex.

Love is not a feeling, it is a decision. We cannot allow ourselves to become so obsessed with emotion that we forget that we need to wait for God to help us out. Strong relationships are made when they are tested by obstacles that only make the people in that relationship better individually and as a pair. It isn’t just one thing, but many that make a relationship strong. What we should remember is that anybody can love you when things are great. It is those who truly love you who will stand by you during times of adversity. They will be able to love you at whichever stop God decides to drop you at. You can also tell if someone really loves you based on how much they resent you for not being able to come through for them when they need us to.

We cannot expect others to not be human when we ourselves are not perfect. When we say ‘I love you’ but we don’t attempt to fight for said love or be there for that person, what we really mean is ‘I love you, conditionally’ or ‘I love you when things are good and you give me whatever I want’ or ‘I love you until someone better, more attractive, richer and more educated comes along’. When we do this, we are using that person to scratch our temporary itches without thinking of the ramifications to that person’s heart. It is indeed sad, the state of love that we give to each other not only in our country, but in the world today. We seem to be fascinated and driven by emotion instead of waiting for God’s advice. A lot of us aren’t even in a place where we are able to hear from God to begin with. This causes us to be in a never ending cycle of failed after failed relationship.

I honestly think that our promises are meaning less and less because of how lightly we take religion and God in society today. We are not as committed as we used to be which allows us to constantly make meaningless promises to one another. We now have a God of self because people have become so selfish in today’s world. Doing the right thing doesn’t mean a thing to us anymore. The Bible reminds us that “In the last day’s men shall be lovers of self, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful and unholy.” 2 Timothy 3: 1-2. This means that people will do what they want and decide what they think is right or wrong in their eyes and not in the eyes of God, with no regard for how it’ll affect someone else. Our number one is self, yourself.

We cannot and should not allow our emotions to be our God. They’ll make us go over the edge but God will lead us to where he knows we need to be. Just because it works for you right now, it feels good right now or it looks good right now does not mean that God agrees with it. And vice versa, not because it looks bad or feels bad means that God disagrees with or frowns upon it. We need to remove our feelings from the equation and do what is right in the eyes of God. Emotions should not rule us. I just want to encourage everybody to value your words, keep your promises, do what is right and allow people to be themselves with the respect that you would like to be shown.

Looking for Love? Want to improve your marriage or relationship? New to Dating?

Kay Rose Owner of Kay Rose Academy and Founder of GDA/BSOG teaches women/men how to effortlessly attract the right partner and have a secure, close relationship or marriage they want. To learn more about the KRA programs or learn how you can connect with your partners heart at every stage of your relationship or marriage send an email to kayrose.academy@gmail.com 

WHAT UNHAPPY COUPLES HAVE IN COMMON!

First of all, let me ask you this: How do you look at love? Deep down, are you yearning for the right guy to show up? I ask because when you get burned too often, have been let down by dates or relationships too many times, or have suffered from breakup that has left a bitter taste in your mouth, it is easy to build a wall around your heart…Be careful to not allow the fact that you’re “not settling” to lose heart and hope, denying yourself enjoyment of the opposite sex.

Of course, I’m talking to those who are still interested in dating and finding someone, even if you are single and manage to be happy…right☺

Life gets busy and there are so many things to do that you can prioritize doing. But there is no need to deny yourself a chance for a relationship just because you don’t want to settle, are too busy or scared to be hurt again…cheated on etc.

If life is a journey, then make it an adventure…including your attitude towards love. Know you will be okay no matter what. Know you will take necessary precautions in being aware of the red flags that signal what isn’t boyfriend material. Know you don’t have to make a guy your boyfriend just because he shows interest...or because he is cute. Certainly know you don’t dream of a wedding just because a guy has taken you out three times…

Alright…let’s get into what UNHAPPY couples have in common. Let’s not beat around the bush: every couple has negative feelings about their relationship at one time or another. All relationships have periods of ups and downs… We are human beings, and all of us do things that make the other person angry. The huge difference between a truly happy couple and a couple who are clearly unhappy together is that the happy couple know that they both have flaws, but stay connected. When they argue, it is not to destroy the other. They communicate effectively, resolve the issue and move on.

Truly unhappy couples elude negativity. It is evident in everything they do and say. Although it might sound like they should call it quits that is not always true. There are ways to possibly remedy the problem and get back to the way it used to be when they first met.

#1 THEY PLAY THE BLAME GAME

Couples are too frequently so caught up in proving who is wrong, they lose sight of the real issue. To disarm and disengage, simply ask yourself, “What will change if he or she says I am right?” Couples stuck in the rut need to look the real reason why they are arguing and not at the trivial issue that prompted this current feud.

#2. THEY REMEMBER THE TIME

Unhappy couples also make the mistake of thinking back to how different things were when they first met. They were head over heels in love and nothing else mattered, but somewhere along the lines, things changed. Long term relationships always change, but don’t have to become an empty shell of what once was. Staying connected and stopping using other responsibilities as the excuse for not giving the desired attention is the first step of rekindling the spark…

#3.THEY HIT THE MUTE BUTTON

Many people think the best way to stop the fighting is to go silent. Although it’s a good idea to step out and get some air, totally ignoring your partner for days or weeks is not. This leads to isolation for both and only leads to further resentment. Instead of turning a cold shoulder, ask yourself, “Why am I shutting down? Am I angry, hurt or afraid?” Opening up to your better half can make all the difference in the world. Be honest with your feelings.

#4. THEY STOP DOING THE LITTLE THINGS

When couple first meet, there is nothing they won’t do for each other. Unfortunately, many couples fall into a comfortable rut and stop putting the other person first. Now, that is not to say to you need to become a doormat, but basic courtesy and genuine respect for their feelings can go a long way to make someone feel special.

#5. THEY ARE “HANDS OFF”

When things start to go south, couples will distant themselves from one another out of hurt. Random acts of intimacy such as hand holding or an unexpected hug or kiss makes a HUGE difference. Keep in mind that all relationships have their on and off moments, but it does not mean that your relationship is over. Sitting down with your significant other and working together to find the cause will make for smooth sailing even in the roughest of seas.

Ever wonder how you can remain a “Beautiful Pearl” as a married woman…How do you remain mysterious and elusive when he’s seeing you naked every night? How do you let him chase you? How do you avoid revolving your life around him?How do you deal with conflict? What if you get upset at him? How do you stay happy in spite of what is going on? What are the deal breakers? What are your options when you realize the marriage isn’t working? It’s never too late to be armed with INSIDE KNOWLEDGE, and it’s never too early to get ADVANCE PREPARATION:

Know the reality of marriage…

Learn how to navigate its landmines…

Be empowered with valuable know-how to maintain your relationship and sustain your happiness…

Lastly, If you do what you always do, you will get same result. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results… Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage…Listen to me: Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.

Change your mind, change your marriage. The grass is greenest where you water it…not the other way round… someone else will not make you happy. Just put your energy into making yourself and your marriage better. Oh yes! You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Remember…Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the "feel good side of marriage." Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple's vows of commitment: "For better or for worse" even when it feels good and when it doesn't.

Looking for Love? Want to improve your marriage or relationship? New to Dating?

Kay Rose Owner of Kay Rose Academy and Founder of GDA/BSOG teaches women/men how to effortlessly attract the right partner and have a secure, close relationship or marriage they want. To learn more about the KRA programs or learn how you can connect with your partners heart at every stage of your relationship or marriage send an email to kayrose.academy@gmail.com 

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