Monday, September 19, 2016

Does age really matter when it comes to love?

Or are we simply robbing the cradle? That's scary! Are you guilty? The truth is, you are not the only one there are a lot more women out there dating younger men. It’s amazing how young love can seem to conquer all! Butterflies and strong chemistry what could possibly go wrong? Nothing I guess.  When we think  of a traditional married couple, we picturize an older man and a younger woman or probably around the same age. The man may even be older than the woman. But these days things are a bit different and society seems not to be ok with women dating younger men....but the question is,  when it comes to love and lasting relationships, does age really matter?
Well, I think the age differences isn't really a problem when the couple is younger. But as we all know later in life when you get older it might be a very big problem especially if the age difference is over 10 years and above... the older partner eventually gets into health and energy issues that the younger partner might  find too hard to deal with later in life.  So if you are a man marrying an older woman my advice to you is... According to 1 Corinthians 13, love “does not envy“ others (who do more youthful activities together or have more things in common than you may have). The interests of a 20 or a 39 year old might be different than those of a 30 or 50+ year old. Big age difference comes with it's own special “problems” with it. When you grow old together, being close to the same age at each stage, it can be somewhat easier to take. But when a 28 year old marries a 55 year old, the gap physically and emotionally grows wider with each passing year. That’s just a reality of life that you need to face!
The Bible talks about “considering the cost” before you do something. In Luke 14,  talks of a person who wants to “build a tower” and how important it is for them to make sure they have enough money to complete it otherwise they set themselves up for ridicule when they begin to build something they aren’t able to finish to completion. It also talks of a king who is about to go out to war who needs to “consider” if he is able to fight with the soldiers he has against all obstacles because if he can’t he needs to reconsider.
But  in all fairness though, love has nothing to do with age...we just have to be careful with the age difference, I mean if you are dating a man who is young enough to be your son...that's a NO go zone. If you enter a relationship with a younger man young enough to be your son it clearly shows that you are in it as casual friend...I mean don't expect anything more in that relationship...the only take away from such a relationship is a broken heart...yes,  you are going to get hurt because that younger man may not really be in it for love but the financial stability that you are able to offer him. Which means that you will be the man in that relationship, paying  for dinner, paying his rent and buying him things. But if  you are want to be a "sugar mama," you are on your own. But please don't let yourself be used for money.
But truthfully, I have seen a few good marriages where the large age gap worked out fine and they have very good marriages. But I have also  seen more where they end up disastrous. That’s why I when I counsel couples I always tell  them to VERY sure they are considering marriage for more reasons than the emotional rush and that they have considered the possible “costs” involved up front so they are willing to work extra hard in their commitment to each other when difficulties come up in the future...and of course the ever complaining family members of the younger partner. Sorry, but I am just being honest...his relatives might try to talk him out of the marriage.
But it's all about trust...
So whether you are older and he is younger a relationship is about how well the couple builds trust, partnership and a life together... "It's not the age that makes the difference," What counts is how well you two can form a partnership or team that works. So don't be too hard on yourself..As long as you are getting along, have good communication and problem solving skills and most of all, love each other, it's all good. If you truly love each other, that's a precious thing, and far more important than any age difference could be. If other people have a problem with it, let it be their problem.
As the Bible says, love “always perseveres.” If you marry young you need to deal with the reality of what you may be getting yourself  into later in your marital relationship. If you are not sure you can persevere through (and other trials) then you need to reconsider BEFORE marrying. That would be the honorable thing to do.

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