Women pick the man of their dreams. Then they try to make Mr Dream come true into what he is not already...sounds familiar? He is hateful, cheats, but you hopeful that he will change because he drives a BMW. Stop dreaming and face reality. Next time you see a happily married couple and the husband is busted, but the sister is super pretty, long hair with brown gorgeous eye... Don’t say how did he get him? It wasn’t him. It was her doing something that you will never do. She relaxed her visual requirement a bit so that she could find someone that she thought she could build a strong marriage with.
You are not perfect, neither will he be. Having the most money, has nothing to do with how successful one is in marriage. Anybody can make money. Go get your own money. Tall men sometimes make short kids. It is time for women to start looking at the CORE of a man. Look at what is inside of a man. His morals, his ethics, his judgment, his spirit. Stop looking at him or at his wallet or at his house or at his car and look in him. This is what you are looking for:
#1. Look for a man that knows how to be “The Man”
This may be more difficult for some who don’t have the strong Father figure, but I allow no excuses. If you don’t have a Father figure you know that right now, you have known that for some time. Go find out what a man is before you get into a bad relationship. Take some responsibility. Example #1: Your car breaks down, he shows no concern, he does not offer to help. You bounce. Even the mechanically challenged man knows that the car is the man’s responsibility. A man that is the biggest help on earth still knows that as a man he is in charge of safety. And I don’t care what level of dating you are on. Even if you just met tonight and your car breaks down, leaving the store and you call him and he doesn't show up, that's a man you can live without...Period!. Example #2: You bring your man home for dinner. Dinner is ready, you and your sister are moving the other table from the living room into the dining room so everybody can eat in one room. You and sister picks up a set of chairs and a table and carry it right across the room in front of your man sitting on the couch relaxing and playing video games or texting on his phone. He doesn't move an inch to offer some help...hun it’s a wrap. Be done with him. That's not your man. You are looking for a man not another woman.
#2. Look for a man that is looking for a wife (Not a forever Girlfriend)
If he tries to have sex with you on the first date either he is not looking for a woman (wife material) or he doesn’t think that you are one. If you want a relationship, don’t settle for dating, just be friends. Being friends with a man first and maintaining your respect will get you into a relationship a lot faster than the occasional sex you give up waiting for a title. (I think that I have properly set the right tone now. Let’s get started for real)
#3. Look for a man that is not Broken.
I didn’t say broke. I said broken, meaning, his spirit, his wallet and his heart. If he doesn't have faith in GOD to get him back on his feet, if he doesn't have a plan to fix his wallet and he is emotionally unstable. He can’t take care of you if he can’t take care of himself. I didn’t say broke, got to tell you all twice sometimes. A man being broke is not an excuse for not giving a man a shot. Money can be made. It comes and it goes. The problem with a lot of you ladies is that you are so busy looking at a brother’s pocket that you miss the potential in him. He could be about to “GET MONEY”. All my broke brothers, stand up! If you have been broke before and say look at me now baby! LOOK . . . AT . . . ME . . . NOW!!!!! You rejected me when I had no money, but look at me, one more time:-) Ladies, take it easy on these men...Evaluate the man. An evaluation is about where he was yesterday, where he is today and where he will be tomorrow.
#4. Look for a Leader, he will lead your family and your marriage.
Women, you are not the leader of the family. You are not the head of the household. Any marriage where the woman is the leader will fail. Any family where the woman is the head of household will fail. (Ladies, chill!!!! Let me do this. Don’t you want a man that knows how to lead you? Well, let me put this responsibility on them and I hope my brothers will step up to plate. Additionally, men have to develop sons that are leaders. Men have to show their daughters what a leader looks like so she can go get one. Baby girl, if you are leading the household, all of that is all messed up! A boy cannot learn how to be a man from a woman. A girl cannot learn what a man looks like by watching her mom. Now, I have asked nicely for your participation. If you still don’t like it, I don’t care, it’s biblical:-)
Families need leadership. A leader, leads in every way. A leader knows when to lead and when to allow others to lead. A leader has good decision making skills and families have a lot of decisions to make. When you are looking for your leader, look for someone that can lead even when times are tough. A man that can lead the family through financial challenges, cancer, whatever it may be. A leader, a good decision maker, the man, will make the right decision (with his wife’s input) on what house to buy, what car to get, private school, college. A leader, a good decision maker, the man, knows that if he makes the wrong decision, he will fix it. (Men, truth be told...if you lose your respect, you can’t lead. That's an automatic disqualification)
Leadership is not just about decision making. Leadership is also about leading by example. When you argue with your wife, please be OPEN to apologizing first every time. Lead both of you out of the argument. Be capable of allowing your wife to have the last word. That woman needs to vent. You still a Man. She knows it or it is on in her life.
#5. Look for a man that respects the institution of Marriage.
A marriage is not a relationship. A relationship is nothing compared to a marriage. A marriage is a union, an institution. When you get married, from that day forth, everything is different. My goal in writing books and articles is to restore marriage to the pedestal that it used to be on! A person who is married, has agreed to make some sacrifices and compromises that you don’t have to make as a single person. Marriage is hard work. But Not just a man:-) Look for a man that understands that there will be ups and downs in marriage and that he is responsible for leading you through those tough times. Look for a man that accepts the responsibility of the fact that the success or failure of marriage rest on his shoulders and his leadership. That’s right, I am putting ALL of it on the man. So if all of it is on the man that is a lot of responsibility right? So we need a woman who knows how to support her man and all the women say?
#6. Look for a man that will take pride in being a Husband.
The problem with marriage right now is that men don’t have “Being a Great Husband” as a goal in marriage. When men get married, we have to change. We now have to be more man than we were before. We are no longer a boyfriend, we are a husband. Look for a man that understands that there are additional responsibilities that come with being a husband. Say to your man, “When we get married, I am entrusting my life to you.” Support your man and let him know that you believe in him
Now I did not say anything about a Christian man. You already know to look for a man that puts God first right? I hope so.
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