They say, behind every woman is a great woman...but the truth is, the woman who rules behind the curtains is not all about having pretty nails and looking young... she knows that being a wife is not all about the "happily ever afters" but being a real wife...a GOOD thing to her husband that the bible talks about in Proverbs 18:22... Now, there is a difference between getting married and marrying a real Wife... Living in the same house with a woman or sharing the same bed does not make a woman a wife...being a wife is beyond cleaning the house and taking care of the children. So if you think your wife should look like barbie doll or those young models you see in the magazine, you are so wrong. I receive a lot of emails from men who are looking for wives and these are the women I tell my clients to avoid:
1. A Non-believer: The bible doesn't say, if women keep saying no to you convert a non believer and marry her. The Bible is absolutely clear on this point: Christians should never marry non-Christians. Read Corinthians 6:14 and write it on a Post-it note and stick it on your computer at work as a reminder. It says, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, Listen! Marriage is not a joke...marriage is the single most important decision you will ever make. Don’t mess up your life by ignoring the obvious. You need a wife who loves Jesus more than she loves you. Put spiritual maturity at the top of your list of qualities you want in a wife. If the woman you are with is not a born-again Christian, scratch her off your list. She’s not right for you. I have not yet to met a Christian man who didn’t regret marrying an unbeliever.
2. A Materialistic woman. She is all about looking like a celebrity on a shop rite budget. She doesn't mind getting into debt because she wants a Michaels Kors bag for her next Kitchen party event or the most expensive blackberry on the market...marrying such a woman is stepping into serious financial trouble. Unless you want to live in debt for the rest of your life, do not marry a girl who has $$$signs in her eyes and twenty credit cards in her Gucci purse.
3. A Proud diva. Divas are everywhere, even in church... Some of these women are even in leadership positions at church, but don’t be fooled by their super-spiritual talk. Real Christian women are humble. If you don’t see Christlike humility in the Christian woman you are dating, you may be signing up for trouble..
4. The Delilah. Remember Samson? He was anointed by God with superhuman strength, but he lost his power when a seductive woman figured out his secret and gave her man the world’s most famous haircut. Like Delilah, a woman who hasn’t yielded her sexuality to God will blind you with her charms, break your heart and snip your anointing off...she is like poison. If the “Christian” woman you met at church dresses as if she is heading to the club, flirts with other guys, posts sexually inappropriate comments on Face book or tells you she’s OK with sex before marriage, get out of that relationship before she traps you.
5. A Bitter Woman. Dating a bitter woman can be a deal-breaker, unresolved bitterness can ruin a marriage. Proverbs 21:9 says, “It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” If the woman you are dating is ever angry and full of unforgiveness, your life together will be ruined by arguing, name calling and endless drama. Insist that she gets prayer and counseling.
6. A controlling woman. A good marriage can only work when both husband and wife practice mutual submission according to Ephesians 5:21. Just as some guys think they can run a marriage like a dictatorship, some women try to manipulate decisions to get their way. This is why premarital counseling is so important! You don’t want to wait until you have been married for two weeks to find out that your wife doesn’t trust you and wants to call all the shots.
7. A mama’s girl. It’s normal for a new wife to call her mom for advice and support. But it is not normal for her to talk to her mother ten times a day about every detail of her marriage, including her sex life. That’s weird. But truth be told, I have counseled guys whose wives allowed their mothers (even fathers) total control of their marriages. Genesis 2:24 says a man is to leave his parents and cleave to his wife. Parents should stay in the background of their children’s marriages. If the woman you are dating is still attached to her mother's umbilical code , proceed with caution.
8.The Player. I wish I could say that if you meet a nice girl at church, you can assume she’s living in sexual purity. But that’s not the case today. I have heard horror stories about single girls who serve on the worship team on Sunday but act like non believers during the week. If you marry a girl who was sleeping around before your wedding, you can be sure he will be sleeping around after your wedding. Jesus can completely set a person free from these habits, but you don’t want to wait until you’re married to find out your wife isn’t living right. You may still be called to be married, but it is not wise to tie the knot until the woman you want to marry faces her issues head-on.
Your guide in choosing a wife is found in Proverbs 31:30: “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Look past the outward qualities that the world says are important, and look at the heart and if you are a woman of God, don’t sell your spiritual birthright by marrying a guy who doesn’t deserve you. Your smartest decision in life is to wait for a man who is sold out to Jesus...underline sold out to Jesus! A man’s charm, looks or financial success (or his willingness to go to church with you) should never push you to compromise what you know is right.
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