Single Moms! Do they have to put their kids up for adoption in order to get married?

Single Moms! Do they have to put their kids up for adoption in order to get married?

I am so sick of single mom stereotypes. Yes, I am and as a self-appointed Zambian ambassador for single parents*Smile* I have to say something about this...Very often, single men looking for a woman to marry always avoid women with a children ...especially if they don’t have kids of their own. And I get it! But give someone a chance before you judge for being a single mom. These kids are not some sort of germs or a curse? I am confused.

By the way, how do you define marital success? If you define a successful marriage by  marrying a woman without children ... maybe you are right. But if marriage is defined as remaining together and giving each other loving support, and help, then marrying a woman just because she doesn't have children isn't going to help. But the question is, do we really understand what marriage is all about? Are we truly born again? No, we are not... Or we wouldn't be so harsh to these single mothers.  Really, we should be ashamed. Ashamed to call ourselves Christians.  Proverbs 31 says, An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar...there! It doesn't say that a good wife is the one who doesn't have children. A woman may not have children but that doesn't make her wife material.

Let's pause for a minute here. Why  do men automatically assume  all single moms made some terrible choices? The term “single mom” has often been misused. Let's re-define these two words "single mother" a single woman is a woman who has never married but has a child. But unfortunately, people even  refer to divorced women as “single moms” but they are not ...they are  divorced women with kids.  A  military widow... she is a widow with kids. There is a difference. Single moms you are powerful...the bible says he is the father to the fatherless what can beat that! God himself says he is a father to the fatherless, which means you marrying a woman with a child who doesn't have a father is a bonus for you because if He is the father to the fatherless He will make sure your business flourishes so that you can care for that child or children. Open your eyes before your conclude a child without a father is a curse.

I'm not saying dating a single mother maybe right for you and that's fine if it's not! But I just don't want you to miss out on a good woman because she is a single mom. Do these women really have to put these kids up for adoption in order to get married? Men have some compassion. Some of you were raised by single mothers and step fathers...some of these single mothers are single not because they wanted to be single moms but it maybe because of circumstances of which you may not be aware of, some of these ladies are so called" single moms"  because their son/daughter's father passed away. Some of these women were happily married for a while and had a baby and a few years down the road, just to find out they were married to a cheater...  faithful to their husbands the entire marriage and just to find out when it's too late the man she is married to is dying of HIV AIDS left with no choice but to become a single parent...some are happily married for a while just to realize they married an abusive husband, eventually in trying to escape an abusive husband they end up in divorce.

In what way is this woman at fault? Are we really going to believe the lies of the enemy that ALL single mothers are single because of their own poor decision (including their poor choices in partners)? I suppose that because she made the mistake of marrying a person who cheated on her that she is at fault, right? She should just continue to put up with him cheating on her with several women because, hey, it's her decisions that got her into this mess? Take it easy gentlemen. Don't view single moms less human or as “damaged goods” some of these  single women are very GOOD women who simply divorced because of being physically abused or having adulterous husbands. Does that make sense? Believe it or not! Being a single mother is NOT always as a result of reckless behavior... It is very disappointing and saddening to see so many people who put single mothers into one category of negativity... just because she has a little one in tow doesn’t mean she can’t be Mrs. Right. woman traveled a different path to single motherhood.

Since life is not a talk show, let's talk a little bit about reality. Let's say a when you marry your so called single woman without children and God forbid you die and leave your wife with a child or children...would you like another man be compassionate enough to marry your widowed wife and take in your children? Would you like her to be viewed like a woman who was careless with her life and stay single until you meet in heaven? Would you like your children to be treated like out casts? If not, why is it difficult for you to accept a woman with children?

I personally think it would make sense to go after SOME of the irresponsible men who help make these children and then disappear and leave a woman to raise the child on her own. Just because men can't have kids and be in the same situation that most single moms are left in, does not give them a reason to judge and put them all in the same category! And for the one who said not to marry single woman with a the child must be living in an alternate reality!

Single moms! Don't let anyone make you feel bad because you are a single mom, your child is not a curse or a second class citizen...your child is a BLESSING there are a lot of people out there begging God for a child... so why hide your child for some guy who can only marry you if you don't have any children. And I am not encouraging premarital sex here...sex before marriage is sin, but a child is an absolute blessing from God. Listen! Be a proud mother...you are a package deal!