First of all, let me ask you this: How do you look at love? Deep down, are you yearning for the right guy to show up? I ask because when you get burned too often, have been let down by dates or relationships too many times, or have suffered from breakup that has left a bitter taste in your mouth, it is easy to build a wall around your heart…Be careful to not allow the fact that you’re “not settling” to lose heart and hope, denying yourself enjoyment of the opposite sex.
Of course, I’m talking to those who are still interested in dating and finding someone, even if you are single and manage to be happy…right☺
Life gets busy and there are so many things to do that you can prioritize doing. But there is no need to deny yourself a chance for a relationship just because you don’t want to settle, are too busy or scared to be hurt again…cheated on etc.
If life is a journey, then make it an adventure…including your attitude towards love. Know you will be okay no matter what. Know you will take necessary precautions in being aware of the red flags that signal what isn’t boyfriend material. Know you don’t have to make a guy your boyfriend just because he shows interest...or because he is cute. Certainly know you don’t dream of a wedding just because a guy has taken you out three times…
Alright…let’s get into what UNHAPPY couples have in common. Let’s not beat around the bush: every couple has negative feelings about their relationship at one time or another. All relationships have periods of ups and downs… We are human beings, and all of us do things that make the other person angry. The huge difference between a truly happy couple and a couple who are clearly unhappy together is that the happy couple know that they both have flaws, but stay connected. When they argue, it is not to destroy the other. They communicate effectively, resolve the issue and move on.
Truly unhappy couples elude negativity. It is evident in everything they do and say. Although it might sound like they should call it quits that is not always true. There are ways to possibly remedy the problem and get back to the way it used to be when they first met.
#1 THEY PLAY THE BLAME GAME
Couples are too frequently so caught up in proving who is wrong, they lose sight of the real issue. To disarm and disengage, simply ask yourself, “What will change if he or she says I am right?” Couples stuck in the rut need to look the real reason why they are arguing and not at the trivial issue that prompted this current feud.
#2. THEY REMEMBER THE TIME
Unhappy couples also make the mistake of thinking back to how different things were when they first met. They were head over heels in love and nothing else mattered, but somewhere along the lines, things changed. Long term relationships always change, but don’t have to become an empty shell of what once was. Staying connected and stopping using other responsibilities as the excuse for not giving the desired attention is the first step of rekindling the spark…
#3.THEY HIT THE MUTE BUTTON
Many people think the best way to stop the fighting is to go silent. Although it’s a good idea to step out and get some air, totally ignoring your partner for days or weeks is not. This leads to isolation for both and only leads to further resentment. Instead of turning a cold shoulder, ask yourself, “Why am I shutting down? Am I angry, hurt or afraid?” Opening up to your better half can make all the difference in the world. Be honest with your feelings.
#4. THEY STOP DOING THE LITTLE THINGS
When couple first meet, there is nothing they won’t do for each other. Unfortunately, many couples fall into a comfortable rut and stop putting the other person first. Now, that is not to say to you need to become a doormat, but basic courtesy and genuine respect for their feelings can go a long way to make someone feel special.
#5. THEY ARE “HANDS OFF”
When things start to go south, couples will distant themselves from one another out of hurt. Random acts of intimacy such as hand holding or an unexpected hug or kiss makes a HUGE difference. Keep in mind that all relationships have their on and off moments, but it does not mean that your relationship is over. Sitting down with your significant other and working together to find the cause will make for smooth sailing even in the roughest of seas.
Ever wonder how you can remain a “Beautiful Pearl” as a married woman…How do you remain mysterious and elusive when he’s seeing you naked every night? How do you let him chase you? How do you avoid revolving your life around him?How do you deal with conflict? What if you get upset at him? How do you stay happy in spite of what is going on? What are the deal breakers? What are your options when you realize the marriage isn’t working? It’s never too late to be armed with INSIDE KNOWLEDGE, and it’s never too early to get ADVANCE PREPARATION:
Know the reality of marriage…
Learn how to navigate its landmines…
Be empowered with valuable know-how to maintain your relationship and sustain your happiness…
Lastly, If you do what you always do, you will get same result. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results… Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage…Listen to me: Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.
Change your mind, change your marriage. The grass is greenest where you water it…not the other way round… someone else will not make you happy. Just put your energy into making yourself and your marriage better. Oh yes! You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Remember…Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the "feel good side of marriage." Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple's vows of commitment: "For better or for worse" even when it feels good and when it doesn't.
Looking for Love? Want to improve your marriage or relationship? New to Dating?
Kay Rose Owner of Kay Rose Academy and Founder of GDA/BSOG teaches women/men how to effortlessly attract the right partner and have a secure, close relationship or marriage they want. To learn more about the KRA programs or learn how you can connect with your partners heart at every stage of your relationship or marriage send an email to kayrose.academy@gmail.com
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