How to know she is using you…

How to Know She is Using You…

So you feel like you've finally met the woman of your dreams, the one you want to commit to, take to meet your mom and show off to your friends? She's beautiful, smart, funny and sophisticated but something's just not sitting right. Maybe you’re starting to get mixed messages that leave you feeling confused. One minute she's all lovey dovey one minute and giving you a cold-shoulder the next. Perhaps she's not showing the same level of interest in you that you are expressing in her... you feel like your main job these days is to spend tons of money on taking her to the nicest places in town, buying airtime, paying rent etc. Well, it could be possible that she is using you for her own personal gain.

But fear not fella's, as there are a number of telltale signs that should set the warning lights flashing…and if you are in that situation, then this article is for you and it may be time to reevaluate your situation. If you feel like you’re just an arm candy and you want some respect, then it’s time to tune into things and how to know she is using you may be easier than you might have realized! But!!!! Let me address the women on this very important subject. How to you help your man feel like ‘A MAN’? Ladies! Men have feelings too. They have emotions. Words and Actions do hurt. The only difference between men and women is that men will never voluntarily open up and share how they feel. The 21st century media and Hollywood have depicted an idea of a “macho” man; the epitome of all things masculine. He doesn’t break a sweat. He is cool, confident and smooth. They’ve made it look so good that we turn our men into helpless little girls if they ever get a little emotional.

A relationship is a place where both parties should feel safe and happy. When you nag him excessively or complain a lot, it is sure to take its toll on him at some point. Nobody wants to feel like a second option. As a wife or girlfriend, it is important to make sure that you give your partner the space he needs to be real and not the plastic icon of Brad Pitt that you have created in your mind. It is true, he may have limitations and shortcomings but it is your job to love him relentlessly and make him feel special.

Words have the power to break and strengthen. You must be careful about the words that come out of your mouth because some comments do sting. They will harbor this in their heart for a very long time. Compliment him every now and then. As much as they act like they don’t care, everyone looks to hear something nice about them every now and then. It always gives you a fuzzy feeling to know that someone is looking out for you.

Make him your ‘Go to’ guy whenever you need help. They want to be your emotional crutch, the provider and your rock. So, help him be the leader and reach his true potential. As the clichéd line goes, “Behind every successful man is a strong woman”. So, instead of getting caught up in your own agenda and life, look out for your man as well. Maybe you could occasionally surprise him at work, leave cute notes for him around the house, get him breakfast in bed sometimes and pamper him. He will never admit that he’s tired or needs help. Give him a foot rub, cook him a special dinner; make him feel like a King. Boost his confidence with words of encouragement and never tear him down. Let him know that, at the end of the day, He means more to you than anything else in the world. And all the ladies say? Alright enough of that…

SIGNS SHE IS USING YOU. Well ideally, the girl you’re dating won’t be honest enough to declare, “I’m just using you.” But no worries, let’s look at some telltale signs that can be indicative that you my friend are being used. Because if she is using you, it’s likely she’s not going to tell you (maybe her friends or your friends, but not you). You may have heard that women sometimes send mixed messages. But in a relationship you don’t need a Cracker Jack box decoder to decipher a person’s intentions because, over time, a person’s true colors will always emerge through their actions. It may hurt now but you can rise above the pain and find love again. You can get past this bit of shame in your dating life and ensure that it never happens again. It never feels good to be used for any reason, and here’s how to tell if she is in fact going to use you up and dispose of you like a Kleenex when all is said and done.

#1. Overly concerned with your salary or your parent's wealth and of course the big fear and the most common way of being used is for financial gain. For the chivalrous gentleman who naturally prefers to reach for the check, this can be a hard one to notice, but there will be subtle clues that let you know whether she's in it for you or for your wallet. Does she show a genuine interest in the day-to-days of your work or does she seem more interested in figuring out how successful you are and where you're positioned on the career ladder? Does she call or text when she doesn’t hear from you? Does she ever offer to pick up the check or does she conveniently seem to find herself in the bathroom when it’s time to drop some money? An interest in wallet is a big warning sign that she's got her eyes on your money. Truth be told: Some of you men if you add up all the money you spend on women who are not even your wives, you would have bought many houses by now. But unfortunately, all you can say is, “I used to be so and so, but now I have nothing to show for it” don’t let that be you. Wise up!

#2. She Hasn’t Introduced You To Friends of Family.  A girl that is truly into you is going to want to dress you up and show you off to friends and family like a new Christmas outfit. If she has put off introducing you to family or insisted you don’t come along when meeting friends, it a pretty good sign that she doesn’t see a future with you. Of course the modern day equivalent of this is when your girl is all over social media but she doesn’t insist on endless selfies with you or fill your timeline with tagged photos, status' and check-ins, in which case there may be something amiss.

There many other ways to know if a woman is using you. Simply enroll in the KRA dating 101 class and learn more about that. But the ultimate way to find out for sure whether or not you're being used for one thing in particular is to take away that perk and see if she hangs around. This doesn’t mean turning into a sting man or of course she will run a mile. Simply identify the area in which she may be using you, be it the money, or fancy events and tone it down or suggest alternatives and see how the relationship develops…hopefully she will stick around and help you to feel more important than just an ATM! I mean, come on guys, why would you want to be used? Hello! Ask yourself this question:  Is she really interested in me or what I can do for her? If it’s not you! Move on.

Looking for Love? Want to improve your marriage or relationship? New to Dating?

Kay Rose Owner of Kay Rose Academy and Founder of GDA/BSOG teaches women/men how to effortlessly attract the right partner and have a secure, close relationship or marriage they want. To learn more about the KRA programs or learn how you can connect with your partners heart at every stage of your relationship or marriage send an email to kayrose.academy@gmail.com and don't forget to check out my facebook page www.facebook.com/kabwerose

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