Those who know me...Know that I'm not into the "sugar coated kind of advice" there are a lot of reasons for that... I believe in raw advice...take or leave it kind of advice...because only the TRUTH can set you free. So make sure you have your shoes on before reading my articles because sometimes I will step on your toes. Buy your Sunday post prepared!
What would you do if a woman puts you on the spot and says, “So, do you see yourself as a dad...in the next two years?” I mean how in the world do you answer that? If you are very sure you want to have kids eventually but just aren’t decided on when or with whom, go ahead and say so: “Yes, I eventually want kids, but want to make sure it’s with the right person.” Did you caught that? With the right person... If she presses for something more concrete and you have only been dating for two months, you may say something like this: “You know, I feel like you are more interested in having a baby/getting married than figuring out if we are good for each other.” Because that’s truly what it feels like sometime...most ladies want to skip the entire dating process and arrive right at the end...Marriage. But if, on the other hand, you very sure you don’t want kids (maybe not the dad type or you already have some from a previous marriage) being honesty is better, even if the answer is “I’m not really sure” or a flat-out “No.” Sure, if she’s really wants kids before she turns 40, this may mean that you will never see her again. But at least from then on, the cards are on the table, and you can sleep soundly knowing you never led anyone on. Just be clear about it. After all, every man has the right to push his adolescence into his 40s and beyond if he so desires. But a woman has a right to move on if what you are telling her is that you are not the future father of her children. Sounds fair? I hope so...
Oops! I forgot that last week I also wrote an article about guys... For real, I can't do it again this week...
There are so many women/men out there who had "no clue" this time last year that they would be married around this time this year and yet, here they are married. Listen! Miracles, happen every day. It's not about what you SEE. It's about who you "know". It's not so much about what you do... It's about what you surrender over to the Spirit of God is what the almighty God allows.
Psalm 10:17 says, "Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble... You will prepare their heart. You will cause Your ear to hear..." I wonder how many of us look at our romantic love journey in this same fashion. Proverbs 21:1 God controls the heart of a king. There is nothing like I am afraid I am going to miss my chance. God is truly the one who causes it to happen.
Here's the funny thing about "chance". On one hand, it can be an "opportunity". Oh, but on another, it can be a "risk" that ends up turning into a "hazard". When it comes to serving the Lord and doing things his way, you will never end up in the latter situation. And yet, because we serve our intentions rather than his direction, so many of us do. Here are some possible scenarios:
We are afraid that we will never get married and so we settle for the guy who pays us the most attention...
We are scared that our relationship will end if we set some boundaries so we keep on fornicating...
We are anxious about our ticking clock and so we try to force marriage so that we can enforce motherhood...
But where does fear and anxiety get you? Into straight-up chaos! But love casts out fear (I John 4:18), remember ?You have no idea how many wives I counsel who regret having married out of impatience. Two words for you to always remember "BE STILL" because while women need to be prepared to be a wife (and you can't ever get bored with that preparation, trust me!-Proverbs 31:10-31), men also need to be prepared to be husbands. Now that I do premarital counseling... one thing that I require of couples upon completion is to be (re)baptized together...as a couple. My reason? Because a lot of marriages are failing because people are entering into covenant as "their old single self" rather than "their new married self"...and it's not working. Effectively. Like so many things in this culture, a lot of focus is placed on what the woman needs to do (or isn't doing) and yet, we cannot (nor should) do all of the work to make a marriage work.
I'm willing to bet some dollars (that's how confident I am) that some of you are tired of waiting and are tempted to DO. SOMETHING. I mean, really really do something...about getting a man. However, in this season of waiting, with everything in me, I know the Lord is beckoning you not to present to him a "Cain offering". Don't give the Lord what you want by doing what you want to do and then expecting him to bless it (Genesis 4:3-5). The Lord doesn't want "some thing". He wants "the best parts" of us and that is our obedience. Indeed, to obey is better than to sacrifice...every single time(I Samuel 15:22) Besides, you don't want to "get a man". You want to have a husband. You can cause the former drought. It's the Lord who can bring forth the latter rain (Deuteronomy 11:13-15).You don't want the "back-up plan". You want the Lord's absolute best for your life. Because really, since the Lord can control a king's mind, why don't we just move out of the way and let God be God, totally, in our circumstances?
And so, yes, it is also my prayer that you will take it upon yourself to pray for that... you will allow the Lord to bring a king into your life an that you will truly trust that your heavenly father the God of Covenant, has your journey totally under his control. Proverbs 12:4 tells us that "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband", I'm led to believe that a godly woman deserves no less than a man of true spiritual royalty. Please DON'T settle for less. Just trust him. After all, he is the KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS!
For comments/Advice: kayrose.academy@gmail.com
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