What do you do when you see a woman you are attracted to at the store, face book, what's app, church? Do you run and hide? Do you stand there wondering what the right words to say? Or do you freeze in fear?
First things first: If you are not sure whether she really likes you, there are some leads you can follow... observe something. Make a comment about something you observe in the environment. This is especially effective at the grocery store. For example, if she is buying dish detergent soap, ask her if the brand she is buying good. Make your comment immediate to the situation and it will seem perfectly natural. No matter where you are, there is always something interesting to comment on.
Forget about the old pick up lines, forget bumping into her, and every other old moves you have heard. And by the way...You can't use the same pick up line on every woman or every situations. Women are different and respond differently. So drop that line! And work on your personality instead...learn how to attract women naturally not by memorized scripts. Always let the woman know you want to talk to her before you even talk to her. Don’t make the mistake of approaching a girl out of the blue and asking her out. It almost always never works. To catch a woman’s attention, it is all about the confidence you display when approaching her.
Well, I am not a guy, but if I had a son I would teach him how to win a heart of a woman even before he says hello...*Smile* Here are a few ways to intrigue and approach a woman:
Smile. If you don't like smiling start practicing now...when you smile it shows a woman that you are friendly and confident. A genuine smile(not a car sales man smile)does not only feel good to you, but will put her at ease while creating openness in the interaction – a requirement for building rapport.
Do not waste time. If you hesitate in your approach, this tells her that you are not feeling confident ...and this can be an immediate turn-off. When you see her, walk over to her within a short period of time...show her you are a man who knows what he wants and goes after it. If she says no, no worries move to another person. And always remember, everyone who knows nothing about you isn't reject you. They know nothing about you.
Positive body language. If you approach a woman with your head down, you are sending negative information about yourself, which makes you loser before you begin. Stand up straight, with shoulders back and chest out, and use a firm yet relaxed walk. Walk like the king you are, a child of God.
Slow down. If you walk over too fast, you could likely trigger her internal alarm. A calm, casual approach is usually the best way to make her feel at ease with you.
Keep eye contact. Never be the first to break eye contact when you approach. If you do, this sends the message that you are not feeling good about approaching. When you use strong eye contact, she will feel more drawn to you. This is means your eyes are not wondering looking at other women while you are talking t her. With practice, you can master this.
Listen..Pay attention. Make sure you pay careful attention to what she says...again, pay attention Do not have your response pre-thought out. Women love a man who pays attention to the details of what she says. If you start throwing out random words, she will lose interest fast.
Do not fidget. Fidgeting after you approach is distracting and shows you are uncomfortable. If you communicate that you are uncomfortable, she will feel uncomfortable, too, and will close up. Practice being aware of your movements. Pay attention to those movements, or lack of movements, that communicate comfort and confidence. I always tell men that I coach that a woman can easily pick up on your level of nervousness when talking to her. And it is very unattractive to a girl when a guy is scared to talk to her.
Lighten your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is a very powerful tool. Approaching her in a light and playful tone is one of the best ways to start. Say you are in restaurant...You could say something like “I hope you saved some of that food,” followed by a quick smile to let her know you are joking. Practice playing with your vocal tone with your friends notice the different reactions you get when you say the exact same thing using varied tones and fluctuations.
Lean away from her. A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly. This lets her know that you respect her space, boundaries, and are comfortable with yourself.
Rejection sometimes can lead to Success. This is probably the hardest thing for guys to understand when learning to approach girls. And this is that the more rejected you get, the more successful you will become. But sometimes it is the truth and there isn’t much you can do about it...she is taken!
Always remember that you’re the man. You are completely in control. How? By being confident in yourself, in who you are... that is what women like. Women want a man who can lead...when I say a man who can lead I am not talking about slavery here..or trying to boss her around. A woman wants a man who appears completely confident, secure, and comfortable around her.
Complimenting her too much. When you approach a girl avoid excessively complimenting her. In fact, avoid complimenting her at all. When you tell a pretty girl how beautiful she is you are just acting like every other guy out there. You have to be different from other guys. You can enroll in my next confidence class to learn how to differentiate yourself from other guys.
Stay away from the “usual” way most guy’s approach a girl is to walk up to her, nervously compliment her, and then ask her for her number. They are better ways to approach a woman indirectly or using an opinion opener to start a conversation.
One of the examples would be “Do you know where the nearest post office is?” this kind of approach is much better because the girl will not quickly reject you. Hey! You simply asking her where the nearest post office is right...end of story.
Oops! I almost forgot this:
Presentation and attire is also important when approaching a woman. This doesn’t mean that you have to wear a suit and bow tie but you need to be presentable in line with your overall grooming and hygiene.
Make it simple...if you can't afford expensive clothes at the mall please don't be ashamed to go to salaula and buy yourself some nice shirts and trousers or some T-shirts and jeans, and whatever you decide to wear make sure it is: a) in fashion b) clean c) free from holes d) appropriate. e) Nice pair of shoes + clean socks(No Bata look alikes, you are not in primary school) and f) Nice belt(black or brown) stay away from bright colours you are a man. Lastly, make sure you brush your teeth...and maintain clean nails(keep them short).
Worn out clothes or clothes with holes in make you appear scruffy and evidence of a lack of self-care...stay away from looking like a riff -raff.
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